There are Rules

Recently, I read and pondered the following quote stateing we are “paralyzed by the illusion of choice.” This was said in response to modern relationships, especially for younger people. I sat back and thought what’s wrong with demanding choice in the intimate relationships you create with another person or other people. Life’s a buffet. Pile […]

Speaking From the Heart ❤️ 

Consider omitting this from your wedding ceremony: if anyone has anything to say about this union, speak now or forever hold your peace. Most witnesses don’t hold their tongues after you’ve been married for a bit. Especially if they haven’t been holding their tongue since before the wedding.  This is NOT the time to say anything […]

Vows: Talking Points for a Possible Future

Vows make me laugh. In contemporary ceremonies, it becomes abundantly clear when the words and intentions are contrived. Don’t say what everyone else has said. Don’t sing a song you don’t have in your heart. Whether during a wedding or a personal, intimate moment, vows and promises should be made with earnestness and hope. Your […]

Vanity: A Celebration of Separation 

I wonder what Aryn Drake-Lee was thinking 13 years ago when she married Jesse Williams. I wonder what he was thinking, too, but it’s irrelevant. He’s leaving. She’s not putting up with anymore BS. It’s about time. Let’s celebrate.  Jesse caught people’s attention as a new, pretty face on Grey’s Anatomy (ABC). He joined the cast […]

The Difficulties of Normativity

Relationships are challenging. Obvious observation. Much of what I read, as I research opinion and position online, indicates that more women, especially women of color, are vocally refusing to participate in cis heterosexually normative relationships altogether. I don’t blame them one bit. When a couple decides to “work on it” they are considering recommitting themselves […]

The Fear of Forever

This is a day of many things. It is the Inauguration of a new president and the eve of a wedding. The ramifications feel as if they’ll last for the rest of our lives. Like the vows some people make and, for some, eventually break.  That’s why forever should be taken out of the equation. […]

Writing Can Be Hard

Most people write their own vows or use traditional templates to express their devotion. But sometimes it can be hard to put in to words the feelings and experiences you’ve shared with this person, especially during a public ceremony. There’s no shame in asking for help. Speeches, vows, and poetry or spiritual verses are used […]

It’s About Time

Get some counseling. Not from a friend you spill tea with, unless they’re certified and you’re willing to tell the truth. Find a soothsayer counselor that aligns with your values and identity needs. Perhaps because you are considering marriage or have run into a troubling time. Each participant will enter the session with their own […]

2016 has Separated, Divorce Pending

Only if it will make you happy. As it has some. This has been a rough year to say the least. It only makes it that much more devastating when pop culture icons (actors, musicians, singers, artists, writers, and all those behind the scenes) die off in droves. You could mark each month by their […]

Passing: A Contemplation by sister dora

  There’s a pass on the left/A place you can pull off/Some secrets and lies/You can wear like camouflage clothes/And although they cover your body They scratch And Pull and impose Passing strangers stare into you/A mirror or a local store window/To see what you really look like/An illusion of a person between here and […]